Sunday, October 24, 2010

Whitman Vows To Attack U.S. If Brown is Elected

With elections coming in November, and I'm sure everyone is campaigned out- oh hell, for months, I've been getting shit campaign literature telling me about the value of voting yes/no on eating babies,
And if I hear one more tv or radio spot telling me that Meg Whitman ate a baboon and wants the voting age lowered to six- "so vote no to her and yes to me", Im going to fling myself into the nearest manhole.

In honor of the upcoming California elections, I've decided to pitch a new sit com
called, ALL MY IDIOTS, and the cast is...

THE YES SIDE-Working, taxpaying regular everyday people who want to keep the jobs they have now and frown upon paying 9 bucks for a gallon of gas by 2015.

THE NO SIDE-Socialist unelected egotist commissars playing our their hippie era fantasies of future GREEN jobs, possible green jobs would include collecting all the campaign literature that wind up in landfills everywhere and placing tinker toy windmills on everyone's lawn to save on electricity. (future means 20 years from now).

MEG WHITMAN-Thomas Jefferson lookalike woman very wealthy,hasn't voted since the Clinton election, figures her life experience will guide her-that and her money.

JERRY BROWN-Aging, homeless hippie, bald on top with a pony tail in the back and one earring who talks like he has Alzheimers, has one union goon on each side holding him up-taking turns whispering in his ear. Years of unsuccessful previous politics in his background.

BARBARA BOXER-An old turnip will do or the female version of Homer Simpson with loud "Duh's" in the background and a Don't Call Me Ma'am, its Senator, name tag on. She has been in politics as California senator since California became a state but has done nothing.

CARLY FIORINA-A wealthy bubbly-talkative 45ish cheerleader type-tall, wears power suits, no politician background- but can outdo Barbara Boxer in a sock matching race.

THE NO SIDE-Ass clenchers who go around holding signs and screaming to anyone who will listen that legalizing weed will lead to other drugs and cause harm to the youth of today and tomorrow, will cause the mexican drug problem to get worse and the feds will storm your little house in california if you have a joint in there.

THE YES SIDE-50 year old pot growers who ride their bikes to clients houses to sell their goods; 35 year olds stricken with cancer and other debilitating diseases that cause nausea, 40 year olds who would rather smoke pot than drink alcohol to get high, 21 year olds nervous before taking that college test.

Looks like scratch n win ballots could be successful in their debut, this go around.

Brown is demanding a recount before the election day.

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